Behind The Mic: Family Addictions with Super Star Guest Candace Plattor

Amplifyou Intro/Outro: 00:00:03

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Michelle Abraham: 00:00:44

Hello, hello amplify you family. Michelle Abraham here your host today. And I'm really excited to bring to you one of our amplify you podcast guests. And we're doing a behind the mic interview with Candice Platto today. So Candace, Hi, how are you?

Candace Plattor: 00:00:59

I'm just fine. Thank you, Michelle. Hi, everyone.

Michelle Abraham: 00:01:01

Hi. So Candace, we have been booking you as a podcast guest through amplify you. And the whole point of this interview is so that our listeners can get to know you. And a lot of our listeners have podcasts. And so if the whole of you feel like this resonates with you what Candice is saying, she'd be a great guest on your podcast, please reach out to us at Branden, braden@amplifyou.ca. And we'll get Candace books on your show. So Candace, let's dive into all about who you are, I'm not going to read your bio, because I'd love for you to share your story of who you are, what you're up to, and what you're all about. So pick it up. Okay,

Candace Plattor: 00:01:39

thank you. Well, I am an addictions therapist in private practice in Vancouver. I work worldwide though, on Zoom. And I specialize in working with the families of people who are dealing with addiction. And I just want to say off the bat that I I do call addicts, addicts. And there's been some talk lately about how that's a label and it's a shaming label. I know that some people feel that way. For me, when I discovered that I was an addict, which I can talk about more later. I, when I realized that that's what I was that that's what was happening. It was such a relief for me, because then I knew what I could do about it. So when I use the term addict, it's not in any kind of disrespectful way. And in July, we're in May right now, right? In July, I'll be I'll be celebrating 35 years clean and sober from addiction.

Michelle Abraham: 00:02:43

Congratulations. That's a huge eight. And I think that makes you a fantastic expert in your topic. Because not only do you have like the book knowledge and the schooling around it, but you have the the experience yourself, which makes you a far different podcast guests, and also therapists yourself, really support people in a different way. Now, Candace, you've also written an award winning book, this run the many awards to Canada in the US, and it's called Loving an addict loving, they

Candace Plattor: 00:03:12

just happen to have a copy right? Here

Michelle Abraham: 00:03:14

you go. And for those of you that cannot read and can see or are listening here, I'll tell you, the title is loving an addict loving yourself, the top 10 survival tips for loving someone with an addiction to cannabis. Tell us a little bit about

Candace Plattor: 00:03:27

your book, my book, what started to happen for me, I was working in the Downtown Eastside area of Vancouver, which is Canada's lowest area income area in the whole country. And it's where addicts alcoholics, homeless, people with mental health issues, congregate and live. And I was working as an addictions counselor for 16 years there. And I loved working with the clients I had. But what happened was that their families started to call me and they started, we're at the end of our rope, they're still o'clock in the morning, and we're pounding on my door where they want to get in and they didn't know what to do. And like, you know, there's so little help for families. There's treatment centers, and detoxes and counseling and all kinds of things for the people who are addicted. But for families who struggle and suffer right along with them, right, nothing out there. So I didn't know what to tell them. I started to see them as clients and I started to understand some of the patterns that they were doing that weren't helping the addict that were actually enabling the addict and keeping them stuck in the addiction. So we started to work on that. And it worked and the end the people with the addiction, they started thinking, Oh, okay, well my family is giving me boundaries and consequences. Now this isn't working for me as well anymore. Maybe I need to Do something different. And they started getting into recovery. I knew I had something that was working. Yeah. And so and I really wanted to work. I wanted to tell people about this. I wanted to be able to work with everybody in the world. But of course, I couldn't do that. So that's why I wrote my book and my book. Really, it's 10 tips for strategies for loving somebody with an addiction. Can I give an example of Yeah, please do. Okay, so the third tip, see if I can find it quickly. Yeah.

Michelle Abraham: 00:05:35

And when Candace goes on podcasts as a guest, these are some things that she can talk about some of the oils have. So this is great as an example of one of them. One of them is, yeah, I can talk

Candace Plattor: 00:05:45

about a lot of things. But the third tip, just don't try to do it from memory. You can't control or fix another person. So stop trying, is the third tip. And for each tip, I have a quote from somebody else. Not they're not my quotes. And so the quote for this tip is from Robert Heinlein, who was just an extraordinary science fiction writer, he wrote a book called Stranger in a Strange Land, which has always been one of my favorite books, because I've always felt like a stranger in a strange land, many addicts do. And that quote, is never tried to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time, and it annoys the pig. So you know, never eat. So what I'm trying to say there is that we can't make an addict stop using, we can't force anybody to do anything. It's a planet of freewill. We each get to make our own choices. I see addiction, continued addiction as a choice, I don't see getting into addiction as a choice that people make. But once we're there, we have a choice about whether to stay there or do something different. So we aren't going to be able to make somebody do anything. But what we can do is we can make it less comfortable. For the addict to stay in the addiction. That's the goal. We make it less cushy, they don't get to live in your house rent free with a cushy shower, bang on the door. And you do their laundry and cook their meals and buy their food and all the stuff we make it less comfortable for that to happen. And that's when they think, Oh, maybe I need to change something here. Because an enabled addict doesn't recover. Right? Because why should they be made on paper? They hate themselves. They hate their lives. But they kind of got it made. You know, it's easy,

Michelle Abraham: 00:08:00

too. Yeah. Interesting. Well, thanks for sharing that tip with us. That's really great. I want to quickly switch into your audience, your ideal audience. So when you're going out and speaking on podcast, who is in the audience that can resonate with you, and really benefit from your message?

Candace Plattor: 00:08:17

Well, interestingly, pretty much everyone. Because because I was just saying this a while ago, the way addiction is today, it's so rampant everywhere in all kinds of forms. It's like everybody knows that everybody is either either affected by somebody's addiction, or they know somebody who is. And so none of us are immune from this. You know, people ask, what's your target audience? Well, my target audience is loved ones who have family members who are struggling right alongside the attic. They love so deeply. But they are everywhere. They're on everybody's podcast. They're listening to every podcast. They're on every counselors caseload, right? Regardless of what they come in for anxiety, depression, well, often it's because they have somebody who's addicted in their lives, you know, so it's my my target audiences everywhere. So I'm, I'm happy to be on everybody are

Michelle Abraham: 00:09:26

very versatile guests, and I can give him his personal recommendation. I've interviewed her on Bissell parenting podcast, and which is podcast for parents of school aged kids. And, you know, although the school aged kids are a little bit young for like, who are normally addicted, it was really helpful because those parents now have some really good tangible tips that they can start looking for. We're talking about signs that parents can kind of see that we're going to be maybe indicators of some use addiction in the future. So that was really helpful. keneseth fabulous guests. And so I just wanted to put that personal recommendation in there as well. So thank you Candace, for that. That was really a great interview. And so guys, if you are interested in having Candace on your on your show, I highly recommend it. She is when our amplify you podcast guest experts. Candice, any last words for our listeners today.

Candace Plattor: 00:10:22

If you're a podcaster, and I'm assuming that's the audience I'm talking to, you know, it, it doesn't matter what your podcast is about, I can speak to your your audience, it doesn't matter what you're talking about. And the more we can get the word out about the difference between enabling and helping them to offer people some guidance about how to stop addiction because addiction can be stopped. This I know for sure. 35 years clean and sober myself now. And I know how to help families get to the same place. So we can do this. And I need your help in being able to, to do this. So I can speak to that I can speak to the addiction with prescription drugs that doctors are still unfortunately, prescribing without really thinking about what they're doing sometimes. How society enables an addict. There's all kinds of, of ways to, to, to look at this. But the most important thing to me is for families to know that there is help for them. There is not much help out there for them. There is help with me, my company lovewithboundaries.com I'd love to have you help me spread that word.

Michelle Abraham: 00:11:57

Yeah, awesome. And again, guys, if you want to book canvas on your podcast, please reach out to us at amplify you. That would be Braden braden@amplify you.ca. So thank you again, chemists for your time today. It's been absolutely wonderful. I learn more about you behind the mic today on our episode. And please reach out guys, Candice has got a huge, impactful message like a lot of our clients here to amplify you. She needs help getting that message out into the world. Please invite her onto your show. Thanks so much, guys. Have a great day.

Candace Plattor: 00:12:28

Thank you.

Michelle Abraham: 00:12:29

See you again next week. Thanks, Candace.